Low libido, or low sex drive, is very common.
It can in fact, affect any person, age or gender at any point in their lives. There is a sense of inevitabability that women will have a low sex drive, and that their libido will diminished with age. Men feel shame and ‘unmanly’ if they are “not wanting sex,” or feel guilty as the cultural perception is that men should ‘always be up for it’. No matter your age or gender, you sex drive fluctuates and goes around in cycles. It is also affected by your daily life, physical and mental health. But remember that there are things you can do to bring it back.
Here are some things to try.
1. Re- connect with your body.
This doesn’t mean just sex and masturbation. Your sensual self involves moving your body, giving and receiving touch , dancing or any other form of self care which brings you pleasure. Find something to bring you confidence and happiness. Getting yourself out of a rut, changing your environment and dedicating some time to invest in your pleasure will reignite your sexual desire.
2. Plan time for sex.
While this might sound like the least sexiest idea you have ever heard. Scheduling sex is a great way to set yourself up for pleasure. Reframe your thinking around this and instead spend time daydreaming about what might happen, creating excitement and a sense of anticipation. It gives you something to look forward to. You all know how good it feels in the build up to a holiday. Planning time for sex , also reduces stress and anxiety in busy modern life. You can set time aside, clear your calendar without the guilt and worry. Make sure you allow enough time for relaxation, and get yourself in the right mindset. Have a bath, read a sexy novel, spend time cuddling. Sex doesn’t have to be the end goal, just think of it as special time set aside to connect with each other. And remember sex is more than just penetration.
3. Train your pelvic floor.
If you have given birth, had a change in hormone production or another health condition, you might have a weak pelvic floor. Even if you haven’t experienced these things the chances are you have a weakened pelvic floor. The pelvic floor is a muscle just like any other muscle in your body and so it needs working out in the same way. In fact a poor pelvic floor can lead to decreased feelings of arousal. You can find out how to strengthen your pelvic floor muscles here. The stronger your pelvic floor, the stronger your orgasms.
Having a low sex drive can be frustrating but it is not an inevitable part of life. You are able to overcome low libido. If you need more help and advice contact Helen Birch Hypnotherapy here.