Who suffers erection problems? In the past, it was believed that elderly men were the only ones who experienced erectile dysfunction and that the little blue pill was the only solution (Viagra).
Erectile dysfunction in those under 40 has dramatically increased in recent years. It has become such a problem that the phrase “Millennial ED” was even created by the medical community.
Problem with using Viagra is that it has a number of negative side effects (headaches, high blood pressure etc). Additionally, it implies that you must always schedule your sex sessions because it takes between 30 and 60 minutes to begin working. Sadly, our mind may still overrule Viagra and prevent it from working, so that’s only true if it works.
When they are with sexual partners, some men find it difficult to become hard, while others get hard but then lose their erection, which may or may not return during sex.
There are several common reasons for erectile dysfunction:
- General performance anxiety
- dependency on porn
- Previous damaging sexual experiences
- challenges with confidence or low self-esteem
- Prescription medication
- ED induced by condom (losing your erection when you put on a condom)
Important: If you can maintain an erection while masturbating alone, whether with or without porn, in the morning, for example, then the problem is probably in your mind, and I can help.
If you can’t, it’s probably a physiological problem, so I recommend seeing your doctor (not a bad idea to do that either way and check all your systems are working okay).
Treatment
Sexual stimulation should typically be followed by a response, such as an erection. For whatever reason, it just takes one or two failed tries for it to go. The stimulus here could be excessive thoughts or worries, which could trigger a reaction. We dwell on it, which has little to no effect on our ability to erect.
I employ a combination of hypnosis to ease any anxieties, behavioural conditioning, psycho-education (explaining what’s happening for you and why), and simple homework over the course of, typically, six sessions. These taken together can significantly improve the situation and help you get back on track.
Premature Ejaculation
1 in 3 men suffers from premature ejaculation, though most never talk about it and just settle for quick, often awkward sex.
A man’s confidence may be impacted by PE, which may cause him to avoid sex or give justifications for how long it took. Most males either act as if there is no problem or feel embarrassed and uncomfortable.
There are many justifications and explanations offered by those who ejaculate too soon. They are “you truly turn me on” and “I prefer it hard and fast,” respectively. However, this is not the underlying cause of premature ejaculation, which results from a lack of control over one’s body rather than from sexual preferences or excitement.
There are two varieties of early ejaculation:
Primary premature ejaculation, which has been your ongoing issue
Secondary premature ejaculation—where the issue just recently manifested itself
Primary premature ejaculation is frequently caused by psychological factors, such as early sexual trauma. Both psychological and physical reasons might lead to secondary premature ejaculation. Alcohol abuse and prostate gland inflammation are examples of physical causes.
Being able to orgasm fast has been advantageous for males throughout evolution. It’s the male default state. predatory predator Less likelihood of being eaten. It made logical sense to orgasm fast and move on for survival. Therefore, it’s not your fault, and trying to hang on for a long time goes against your instinctual nature.
However, you can train your body to gain control by doing so. You want to reach a point where you have enough control to enjoy having sex carefree and to leave your partner feeling the same way.
Given this, it is hardly shocking that so many men orgasm quickly.
It’s no different than learning any other ability to learn how to regulate your orgasms. For want of a better phrase, I say to you, practice makes perfect.
Hypnosis can explain a variety of ways that will offer you greater control over your orgasms and help you master the new skill more quickly.
Delayed/No Ejaculation
This is an issue that I’m seeing with client’s more and more; men who are struggling to cum. They either struggle with it or do not cum at all.
Male orgasmic dysfunction, or delayed ejaculation, is categorised as either:
Even when the man wants to and his erection is normal, he experiences a substantial delay before ejaculation or is completely unable to do so.
You may have delayed ejaculation if:
- you experience a repeated and unwanted delay before ejaculation lasting for 30 to 60 minutes
- you’re unable to ejaculate at least half the times you have sex
- Delay in ejaculation can be brought on by psychological as well as physiological factors, much like premature ejaculation.
Similar psychological factors that may contribute to delayed ejaculation include early sexual trauma, a rigid upbringing, interpersonal issues, stress, or despair.
Among the physical reasons for delayed ejaculation are:
- diabetes (typically only type 1 diabetes) (usually only type 1 diabetes)
- spinal cord damage
- age-related multiple sclerosis surgery on the prostate or bladder
Delay in ejaculation is a recognised side effect of numerous medications, including:
Antidepressants, especially selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs), blood pressure medications like beta-blockers, antipsychotics, used to treat psychotic episodes, muscle relaxants like baclofen, which is frequently used to treat multiple sclerosis and motor neurone disease, and potent painkillers like methadone (which is also widely used to treat people addicted to heroin)
Delayed ejaculation may have never been an issue for the male, or it may start happening suddenly after being trouble-free for some time.
It might happen in any sexual circumstance or just in particular ones. When masturbating, for instance, you could be able to ejaculate properly, but not when having intercourse. When ejaculation only occurs in certain situations, there’s usually a psychological cause.
One of the following two factors usually accounts for this as a sex therapist:
- Porn is typically when someone quickly switches between scenes.
- gradual desensitisation of your penis
Our conscious mind programmes our subconscious, which is the more potent portion of our brain. When you watch porn and jump around from scene to scene, your subconscious starts to believe that what makes you want to have lots of sex with people in a hurry. Our subconscious becomes confused and it is challenging to drive ourselves to the brink of exhaustion when we only have one person in front of us who doesn’t change every 30 seconds.
Alternatively, picture rubbing a point repeatedly for 20 years, often more than once a day, on the back of your hand. Do you anticipate having much sensation in that area of your hand? Similarly, if we play with our cocks enough, they may start to lose feeling.
Treatment
Psychoeducation, behavioural programming, and hypnosis can be used to retrain the subconscious to seek out the things that truly excite you. To at least assist it in realising that what is in front of it is what matters.
However, since our responses to sex are largely influenced by our minds, it is possible to use hypnosis to make sure that your mind is truly on your side.
Low Libido
Many of my clients feel they “should” be having a lot of sex but they are truly not interested. Alternatively, people may feel that they used to crave sex constantly but are simply not in the mood.
These problems can make us feel low or even depressed, whether they are with a spouse or just in general.
Although everyone’s sexual desire is unique and ever-changing, it might be perplexing if it noticeably declines whether you’re single or in a relationship. Examine the possible causes of your libido slump and learn how to revive your desire for sex with the help of these hot recommendations.
We’re continuously inundated and psychologically drained due to increased work commitments, social pressures, and the urge to follow the newest fads, TV shows, or self-care practises, but how is that hurting our sexual lives?
“A person’s libido is complex; it varies on a daily, weekly, and even monthly basis. Various environmental factors and interactions, including stress, medicine, sleep, self-worth, and medication, have an impact on sexual desire.
There are several reasons that can lead to low libido including:
- Low testosterone – for various reasons – lack of Vitamin D, weight issues, medication, depression, lack of exercise… and many others
- Social comparison – dating apps, social media, TV gives the impression that everyone is having loads of sex
- Unrealistic expectations – at 20 you might have wanted lots of sex, but at 40 perhaps you might think you do, but actually, you’ve had a fair amount of it over the years and might want to do something else instead which leaves you feeling at odds
- Confidence/self esteem issues
- You get validation through sex, which can lead to disappointments if you feel you’re not having/wanting sex
The feeling of pressure worry or anxiety about whether you’re going to be able to get an erection can actually interfere with your sexual responsiveness as far as your body is concerned, if you’re anxious, this is a sign that could be a real physical danger around in times of emergency. All body functions that are not about immediate survival, like digestion and sex drive are put on hold.
Unfortunately, just a few experiences of feeling anxious and not getting an erection can turn into a repeating pattern. In your mind, sex becomes associated with pressure and anxiety, which in turn keeps interfering with your sexual responsiveness. It becomes a vicious circle. It is this type of performance anxiety, the hypnosis is excellent at treating as an erection is a spontaneous unconscious response. And it’s not something you can consciously control.
A little bit more about overcoming sexual performance anxiety. Nearly all men feel a little anxious around sex occasionally. Sex can be a very important part of a relationship and an important part of your own identity. So it’s understandable that people sometimes put pressure on themselves around sex. What’s more, many men have unrealistic expectations of themselves under what it means to be a man.
When sex is portrayed in films and on TV shows, the implicit message is that to be a real man, you need to be some sort of constantly energised superstar, regardless of the state of the relationship, or the sexual experience and skills of the other person. That gives the cultural belief that a men is only a man when they are successful during sex. Both men and women have doubts, insecurities, and emotional needs. The sex works best when all partners feel comfortable and at ease with each other.
One thing that can be helpful to overcome anxiety around sex is to talk things through with your partner or partners so that you both give each other permission to go slowly taking away a sense of pressure to perform. The sexual performance anxiety can also become a conditioned automatic pattern, where you’ve come to associate any form of sexual intimacy with feelings of tension, discomfort and pressure.