Cancer can be a devastating diagnosis, with far-reaching impacts that go beyond physical health. One of the most overlooked but essential aspects of cancer care is understanding the impact it has on a person’s sexuality and sex life. It’s essential to acknowledge and address its effects on intimacy and relationships, as well as physical and emotional changes. This article will explore the impact of cancer on sexuality and provide tips for managing its effects.
What is cancer and its impact on sexuality?
Cancer is a term used to describe a large group of diseases that occur when abnormal cells divide and spread uncontrollably. Cancer can affect different parts of the body, including organs, bones, muscles, and other body systems. It can also affect a person’s sexuality and sex life.
Cancer can cause physical changes in the body, such as loss of libido, changes in sexual functioning, changes in body image, and sexual damage. It can also cause psychological changes such as depression, anxiety, and fear of rejection.
The impact of cancer on a person’s sexuality and sex life can be emotionally and physically devastating. It can lead to feelings of loss, confusion, and sadness. It can also make it difficult to maintain intimate relationships, as well as cause feelings of low self-esteem.
Cancer and its effects on intimacy
Intimacy is an essential part of relationships and life in general. Cancer can have a significant impact on intimacy, as it can interfere with physical and emotional closeness.
Physical changes associated with cancer can make it difficult to engage in sexual activity. These changes can include pain, fatigue, changes in body image, and changes in libido. It can also make it difficult to be physically close to a partner, as certain activities may be uncomfortable or difficult.
Cancer can also have a psychological impact on intimacy. It can cause fear, anxiety, and depression, which can make it difficult to feel close to a partner. It can also be difficult to open up about feelings, as many people feel ashamed or embarrassed about their cancer diagnosis.
Understanding the physical changes of cancer
Cancer can cause physical changes that can affect a person’s sexuality and sex life. These changes can include changes in libido, fatigue, pain, and changes in body image.
Changes in libido can occur due to changes in hormones, medications, and fatigue. Pain can also interfere with a person’s ability to enjoy sexual activities. Changes in body image can also cause discomfort and make it difficult to feel attractive or desirable.
Some cancer treatments can also cause physical changes, such as hair loss, weight changes, skin changes, and scarring. These changes can cause feelings of insecurity and can make it difficult to feel attractive or confident.
Cancer has a massive impact on people’s sex lives, not just during the treatment process but also in the aftermath. Sex is such an important factor in a person’s quality of life. Unfortunately, medical professionals don’t talk to patients about the side effects the cancer treatments will have on the sexual side. This includes the psychological and physical side effects.
Medical professionals don’t talk about it and cancer patients don’t ask about it as it is the time of treatment it is the furthest thing from your mind. This is more than just about appearance.
Chemotherapy and Radiation – damages the mucous membranes of the body eg the mouth but the vagina and anus are also mucous membranes causing the skin to become painful, burn the skin and affect the sensitive tissue making the genitalia numb or over-sensitive. Anti-hormone treatment lowers the desire for intimacy, reduces libido and also messes up the body’s ability to orgasm by affecting the pelvic floor muscles. Blood flow is also reduced, which is needed to make the private parts plump and moist, causing little to no lubrication.
Key parts of the sexual anatomy and our sensual selves are damaged, which has long consequences on sex and libido long after treatment finishes. People are left feeling asexual which has a profound impact on their quality of life. Additionally, it can be hard as a person’s partner finds it hard to stop being a caregiver and start seeing their partner as a sexual being again.
Sex is high on the hierarchy of human needs and medical professionals need to start addressing this with patients, especially as the survival rate increases, people are living longer and having to spend a long time with poor painful sex.
Cancer patients need to think about their quality of life after cancer and the treatments are over. Doctors are focused on medical treatment, so if you go to see your doctor and then don’t bring up the side effects treatments can have on your sexual life then you need to be confident and bring it up yourself. Let them know it is important to you and ask these questions to your doctor: Will this affect my sexuality? Will this affect my ability to function sexually? Will this affect the sensation that I feel with intercourse?. Don’t wait for your doctor to bring it up as they probably never will.
Exploring emotions and psychological effects of cancer
Cancer can also cause emotional and psychological changes, such as depression, anxiety, and fear of rejection. These changes can make it difficult to open up to a partner and can cause feelings of low self-esteem.
Depression can make it difficult to feel pleasure, as well as make it difficult to be intimate with a partner. Anxiety can cause fear and worry, which can make it difficult to relax and enjoy sexual activities. Fear of rejection can make it difficult to open up to a partner and can lead to feelings of insecurity.
It is important to recognize these emotions and to seek help if needed. Talking to a counsellor or therapist can help to address these emotions and provide support and coping strategies. You can find out more about how hypnotherapy can help you on your cancer journey her on my hypno-oncology page.
Tips for managing sexual changes after cancer
There are a few tips that can help manage sexual changes after cancer.
The first is to talk to your partner. Communication is key in any relationship, but it is especially important when dealing with a cancer diagnosis. Talking openly and honestly about feelings, concerns, and needs can help to strengthen relationships and foster a sense of closeness and understanding.
The second tip is to explore different ways to be intimate. While sexual intercourse may not be possible or comfortable, there are still ways to be physically close to a partner. This could include cuddling, massage, or other forms of physical contact.
The third tip is to take things slow. Cancer can cause physical and emotional changes that can make it difficult to engage in sexual activities. It is important to remember that it’s okay to take things slow and to explore what feels comfortable and safe.
Identifying resources for managing cancer-related sexuality
There are many resources available to help manage cancer-related sexuality. This includes talking to a doctor or therapist, joining a support group, or reading books and articles about cancer and sexuality.
Talking to a doctor can help to address any physical changes caused by cancer and provide information on how to manage them. A therapist can help to address the psychological and emotional effects of cancer and provide coping strategies.
Joining a support group can also be beneficial. This can provide a safe and understanding space to talk about feelings, concerns, and experiences. Reading books and articles about cancer and sexuality can also be helpful by providing information and helping to normalize the experience.
Supporting a partner affected by cancer
When a partner is affected by cancer, it can be difficult to know how to best support them. It is important to remember that everyone’s experience is different, and it is important to respect their feelings and wishes.
The first thing to do is to listen and be supportive. Make sure to check in with your partner regularly and ask how they are feeling. It is also important to be understanding and patient.
It is also important to provide emotional support. Let your partner know that you are there for them and that they can talk to you about anything. It is also important to remember that your partner may need more time and space than usual, and it is important to give them the time and space they need.
Reestablishing intimacy after cancer treatment
Reestablishing intimacy after cancer treatment can be difficult, but it is possible. The first step is to talk to your partner and understand their needs and feelings. It is also important to take things slow and explore different ways to be intimate.
The next step is to explore what feels comfortable and safe. This could include talking about feelings, exploring different ways to be intimate, or trying new activities.
It is also important to remember that everyone’s experience is different. Some people may find it difficult to discuss intimacy and sexuality after cancer. If this is the case, it is important to be understanding and patient and to respect their wishes.
Intimacy and broadening the definition of sex.
The first thing I would recommend is focusing on intimacy and sensuality. Get to know yourself again. What sensations do you like, what you don’t like, this way you are learning your sensuality again and then can’t communicate this with a partner more confidently.
Sensuality is just exploring your body, you don’t even need to go anywhere near your private parts. It could just be changing the lighting in the bedroom or bathroom and running a nice bath with essential oils and getting in. And just becoming mindful in that moment, noticing how the water feels, noticing the candles. Every time your mind wanders, just bring it back to the moment.
This is very helpful for initially resistant people, just begin to explore your body, see where you like to be touched and where you don’t, how much pressure you like or and how the temperature feels on your skin. Do you prefer it hot or cold? It can have nothing at all to do with sex, it’s just reconnecting with your body and mind and deciding what sensations and feelings you like. That way there is no pressure of needing to orgasm. It’s about permitting yourself to explore without the pressure of an outcome, rewiring the body and the mind to see this as a positive experience, and getting out of your head and into your body.
Sensuality is often confused with sexuality. Pleasure is about sensations and senses, not just sexual sensations. Sensuality is a healing force as it incorporates four key areas- mental, emotional, physical and consciousness. Sensuality allows us to deeply connect with ourselves and then with others. It is also a great way to self-regulate and release tension and emotions as lots is stored in the hip and pelvic area.
Your mind is the most important erogenous zone. It is the one that connects all of your senses but is also the place that can shut down sexual pleasure.
ASMR is a really good place to begin to reconnect with your body and reconnect to sexual pleasure. It causes an autonomous sensory meridian response, giving a person that lovely tingly and pleasurable feeling. I would recommend ones that promote sensuality and personal attention. It can help you reconnect to yourself and feel sensations and accept touch in a positive non-sexual way. Sensuality underpins sexual pleasure. Reclaim your sensuality first, and your ability to experience sexual pleasure will follow.
Autogenic Training is also an excellent initial tool. It can be used to address stress, anxiety, fear and tension. Regular use can help you feel more centred, relaxed, and calmer. It helps you embody new beliefs and connect your new beliefs to feelings. I have audio on youtube which would be helpful.Autogenic training
Changing the definition of sex to increase libido and enjoyment can alter open a person up to what sex is. It’s intimacy, sensuality, touching, and kissing. Extending your definition of sex opens more opportunities for sexual experiences. A person might not be in the mood for intercourse but may be open to other things. It also places pleasure and intimacy as the priority.
Connecting with other cancer survivors
Connecting with other cancer survivors can be beneficial. This can provide a safe space to talk about feelings and experiences and can provide support and understanding.
There are several ways to connect with other cancer survivors. This includes attending support groups, joining an online forum, or talking to a counselor or therapist.
It is also important to remember that everyone’s experience is different. It is important to be understanding and respectful of other people’s experiences and to not compare or judge. Hypno- oncology can also help with managing the symptoms and side effects of cancer you can find out more here https://hypnosisinyorkshire.com/trauma-ptsd-and-eft/
Conclusion
Cancer can have a significant impact on a person’s sexuality and sex life. It can cause physical changes, such as pain, fatigue, and changes in libido, as well as psychological changes such as depression, anxiety, and fear of rejection. It is important to acknowledge and address these changes in order to manage them.
There are a few tips for managing the effects of cancer on sexuality and sex life. This includes talking to a partner, exploring different ways to be intimate, and taking things slow. There are also resources available, such as talking to a doctor or therapist and joining a support group.
Hypnosis and Sexual Freedom Therapy can help you come to terms with how your sex life has been affected by cancer and allow you to regain your sexuality and intimacy. Contact Helen Birch Hypnotherapy to find out how to regain your intimacy and sexual pleasure.
Cancer can have a devastating impact on sexuality, but it is possible to manage and even overcome its effects. With understanding, support, and the right resources, it is possible to regain intimacy and sexual pleasure.