Has erectile dysfunction meant that you been finding it difficult to remain hard during sex? Because you don’t want to let them down, has it caused you to avoid becoming intimate with a partner? Do you feel extremely bad about yourself and worry that it will happen again? What can you do ?
When engaging in penetrating sexual activity, penises are under tremendous strain to be hard (and all sex-related acts, really). There is a lot of embarrassment and anxiety associated when a person with a penis “doesn’t get it up” or loses their erection during sex. Given that so much of what society considers to be “good sex” revolves around the idea that the penis is the most important thing in the universe (which it isn’t, by the way), how could there not be?
The manner in which we society expects males to be so-called “masculine and manly” just serves to exacerbate this tangled problem. People who are born male are not encouraged to display any signs of weakness, such as emotional expression or empathy. They have been taught to “suck it up,” suppress their emotions, and refrain from acting like “such a girl.” This propaganda is harmful and has a negative impact. Repression, anxiety, and shutting down result from not believing you’re a “genuine man” if you show vulnerability or feelings.
When it comes to erections, fixating on or ignoring unpleasant or distressing feelings can exacerbate the issue and result in recurrent or chronic erection problems.
If you still harbour negative feelings from a previous sexual encounter and haven’t moved past the pain, you can’t expect to develop and keep strong erections. Living in misery and shame is not an option for us. We must acknowledge, consider, and find a solution to it. Real tools are available for this quest as well.
Here are five methods to help you return to sex with confidence if you’ve lately experienced erection problems and are concerned that they’ll happen again.
1. Recognize the Difficulty of Getting and Maintaining an Erection
Understanding the process by which erections occur may help you to understand why they might abruptly end. To put it simply, the brain signals the genitals to initiate the sexual arousal process. As blood enters the penis, the arteries constrict, keeping the penis from softening. This causes erectile dysfunction.
When something interferes with this process (such as illness, anxiety, stress, etc.), the brain either is unable to communicate this message to the genitals at all or, in the case of losing an erection in the middle of sex, sends a signal to the penis informing it that this is “not a time for sex,” which causes the erection to go limp.
Understanding the multi-layered, intricate bio-psycho-social process that causes erections will help you appreciate just how challenging it is to achieve them.
2. Get Your Partner Involved in the Process
Any type of bedroom issue can be dealt with more effectively when we let our partners support and assist us. Take erections off the table for this first step. Yes, I do. Although it might seem contradictory, by removing the penis from sex, we also relieve the pressure on it.
Increase your foreplay (or play) activity focus. Create a backup plan for sex as a first step, just in case things don’t go as planned. This facilitates a smoother transition into other sorts of play. Make alternatives and other strategies.
Discover all the many ways we can embrace and explore pleasure, including sex toys, hands, mouths, and other body parts. It ceases to be such a “thing” once we are able to broaden and open our erotic template to encompass more than simply erect penises.
In case you missed the message here: This entails being open and honest with your partner about your erection problems and your worries about a recurrence. The key to resolving these issues as a cohesive team is empathy and understanding. You can find out how to respond to a partners erectile dysfunction and how to build Communication.
3. Get checked by a doctor
Erections are impacted by numerous variables, much like all bodily functions. If this is a persistent condition, there may be a hormone issue or other underlying medical issues at play. Have your testosterone levels evaluated. Also take into account the likelihood of cardiovascular problems, especially if you are over 50.
Additionally, lifestyle decisions like drinking and using recreational drugs may be involved. It’s crucial to take into account the various variables that could be in play, as they are all capable of causing erection issues. You can visit the NHS website for more information about Erectile Dysfunction here.
4. Sexual Freedom Hypnosis Therapy can help
Erections result from a variety of biological, social and psychological elements, as we have already mentioned. You may not be able to get hard due to psychological problems such as performance anxiety, erection anxiety, general tension, fear, and other similar mental pressures.
You can overcome these bad experiences and reclaim your confidence by being able to name and articulate the thoughts and emotions you’re experiencing. Starting to identify and address the core causes of this problem, such as the traumas, feelings, phobias, etc., can be helpful. Knowing your body becomes much easier since it improves your sense of control and self-awareness. Find out more about sexual freedom hypnosis therapy here and how it can help treat erectile dysfunction.
5. You Are Not Alone and This Is Common
Erectile Dysfunction is normal and very common. If you have been avoiding sex because you think that if your erections don’t function, you’ll be a “failure,” I’m here to tell you that this isn’t true at all. Never expect a sexual encounter to go “exactly” every time. It shouldn’t, in all honesty. Sex is silly, heated, awkward, weird, and occasionally even amusing. Instead of causing pain, it ought to bring you delight.
You develop resilience when you can embrace all the awkwardness and unpredictability of sex. This makes it much simpler to handle similar circumstances in the future, which reduces performance anxiety and leads to more pleasurable sexual experiences.
This is something you can overcome. So without or with hard-ons, go out and enjoy your sexual life and all the pleasure it can bring you.
If you would like to chat more about how Helen Birch can help treat your erectile dysfunction and how sexual freedom hypnosis can help you recover from ED. Then contact Helen Birch Hypnotherapy here.