Why do you need sexual success?
There are loads of manuals, books and courses offering advice, hints and tips around how to have better sex. But there not going to provide you with long term sexual success.
I have helped many people overcome psychological and emotional issues of all kinds ranging from insomnia to anxiety and one thing that always comes up as a main cause of distress and worry is sex. This can be surprising to many, but sexual issues occur when other areas of a persons life are a concern too. Everyone wants and needs better sex.
Where we are going wrong
Many people say sex is not an important factor in their lives but this is simply not true. Sex is essential to our survival as a race. We have been evolutionary programmed to find sexual partners and reproduce as much as possible. Its deep rooted in our DNA to want sex.
However, we as humans have over complicated sex, adding cultural pressures and expectations. It has become something to fear, feel shame and embarrassment about and even something we can no longer be bothered to do due to the pressures of modern day living.
Humans are the only animals on the planet who have sexual issues and problems, leaving us feeling frustrated and disappointed.
Once we find a sexual partner shouldn’t the sex part be simple and straight forward?
Most peoples level of sex education is the simple mechanics of how sex happens, the basic body parts and what bit goes where. You will also be warned about the dangers of unprotected sex and how to keep yourself safe. After this ‘sex education’ your just left to it with the expectation sex will happen naturally with the right person, with no mention of the potential issues you are likely to come across. On top of this cultural influences and porn are providing a distorted view of sexual performance creating a mix of unrealistic expectations and disappointment.
Humans are not robots and good sex depends on a variety of factors. Feelings, personalities, past history , cultural expectations, boundaries, turn on’s , health, work and self esteem.
Things that affect having better sex
Sexual success between people depends on:
- Who the person is
- The way the see and feel about themselves
- They way the feel about a sexual partners
- What’s happening in other areas of their lives
These factors influence your sexual success regardless if its with a long term partner or a one night stand who you’ve just met.
The belief is that sex is something that naturally happens on its own, but your sexual success is influenced by all other areas of your life. If you are having a problem in one area of your life its likely to impact on how successful and rewarding your sex life is.
But this can be easily overcome.
You can watch Helen Birch Clinical Hypnotherapist and sex exert talking about how to get better at sex here
What you can do about having better sex
Having worked with many people with many clients in who all wanted a more rewarding and enjoyable sex life, I have noticed several common themes that come up. Although some of these issues were physical problems and required professional medical support, or poor sex education and expectations. All my clients benefited from resolving their psychological and emotional issues.
Common areas we work on together are:
- Becoming more resilient and flexible
- Confidence boosting
- Self respect
- Handling emotions
- Overcoming fears, anxieties and inhibitions
- Changing unhelpful attitudes and expectations
- Altering patterns of behaviours and habits around sex
Alongside this many clients
- Adopt healthier lifestyles and improve their mental well being
Through addressing these areas my clients sex lives and sexual confidence grew.
When working with me we looked at all aspects of sexual issues including emotional and mental, through hypnotherapy I can help you make the deep changes within yourself that will really make a difference.
Each hypnosis session is carefully designed to help you meet your own individual needs and easily absorb and learn the new behaviour patterns and mental attitudes. Hypnosis allows them to be deeply absorbed into the subconscious that they feel completely natural and automatic. You will automatically feel, think and act in a way that boost your sexual experiences. The hypnosis sessions do not require you to read, learn and remember new information. You can relax and enjoy the deeply relaxing hypnosis sessions while your brain naturally and deeply absorbs the new thought patterns, without you even realising that you’re doing it.
This way your conscious mind stops interfering with your sex life (such as when you worry about losing your erections) and your natural processes can take over. Sex will become easy and enjoyable again.
Helen Birch is a clinical hypnotherapist and sex expert. She is based in Wakefield, West Yorkshire but offers therapy sessions to clients world wide. If you would like better sex, you can book a free consultation call with Helen Birch here