Ages and Stages Of Sexual Desire: A Guide to Your Sexual Journey

Hello, lovely readers! Welcome back. I’m Helen Birch, your go-to sex therapist and the friendly agony aunt you’ve come to trust. Today, we’re diving into a topic that’s close to the heart— Navigating the Ages and Stages: A Guide to Your Sexual Journey.

Whether you’re in your twenties and exploring, in a long-term relationship, or embracing the wisdom of your golden years, understanding the dynamics of your sexual journey is crucial. In this blog, we’ll embark on a comprehensive guide to help you navigate the various ages and stages of your intimate life.

If we haven’t met before, I’m Helen, and I’ve been sharing advice on relationships, intimacy, and self-discovery for years. As an agony aunt for a leading magazine, I’ve had the privilege of helping countless individuals find their way through the twists and turns of love and connection.

So, buckle up and get ready to explore the beautiful tapestry of your sexual journey. Don’t forget to hit that subscribe button and ring the notification bell, so you never miss out on the insightful content we have coming your way. Let’s jump right in!

photo of older woman applying lipstick in front of the mirror
Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on

It’s a fact that having sex can last a lifetime. Every decade has unique difficulties as well as significant advantages. 

Young people are still figuring out what suits them sexually and what their preferences are. You have more sexual knowledge as you get older. Additionally, the way we age has changed. According to a Harris survey conducted among 2,000 Americans, 71% of seniors believe that their best years are still ahead of them. In an English study, 86% of men and 60% of women in the 60–69 age group said they were sexually active. In the interim, our “hotspan” might be greater than before!

So let’s examine your sex life’s ages and stages. What do you anticipate in the upcoming decades? 

20s: Sexual Education

You are discovering your body and your sexual style during this phase of your sexual life. Your hormone levels are high because you are a very young person. 

You might not have a great deal of knowledge about your preferences in bed because you have only recently made your sexual debut (or are soon to!). That’s okay, have fun acquiring all the data. This is a great decade to try new things with.

Looking back on the sex education you did (or did not) receive in your 20s can help you determine what resonates with you. Which general messages regarding sex did you receive? Look for sex-positive role models among your friends, on social media, and in podcasts.

Try: the cornerstone of a happy sexual life: masturbating. It holds true regardless of your relationship status! 

30s: Sexual Expanding

Life has become more complicated and demanding by this time. There’s a chance your career is taking off, which means more money but also more stress. You might or might not have a partner. You might also be a mother right now, riding the waves of pregnancy, lack of sleep, etc. Plenty is happening! 

For sexual self-care, this is an excellent decade. Honoring your needs for relaxation and pleasure, take small steps toward your sexual development. 

Have a sexual massage.  The sensations are your allies. Better yet, if it ends in an orgasm; each time you O, your brain releases endorphins, dopamine, oxytocin, and serotonin. 

40s: Taking Risks

You’ve gained a great deal of insight into your sexual life by now. Your sexual response could be impacted by slight changes in your hormones. However, there are tools for that, so don’t worry.

Try training your vulva if your orgasms aren’t feeling very satisfying. Try vibrators and kegal exercises. Your pelvic floor muscles contract during an orgasm, and that is your pass to it. To maintain the intensity of your orgasms, we wish to reinforce those.

It’s normal for a change in erection issues to occur in the 40s for those who still have a penis. Write it off to a decrease in testosterone levels, drug side effects, or vascularity-affecting lifestyle choices. Drinking, smoking, not exercising, and/or eating an unhealthy diet will all negatively impact your blood flow, which is one of the main causes of erectile dysfunction (ED). 

The good news is here. A penis ring can benefit from any cause. 

This decade is also excellent for identifying your fundamental sensual desires. In bed, what intense emotions are you pursuing? Sex will become even more fulfilling once you figure them out. 

Try kinking. Great vanilla sex! However, you’ve probably been having sex for a few decades by this point. Take some risks; you deserve them. 

50s: Sexual Freedom

Kids Freedom? Most likely, they are grown. Work? Most likely, it is stable. This decade, in which many of us reset our sexual desires, is an incredibly amazing time in life. This is also the decade that, if you’re a vulva, you start having sex just for fun. 

I won’t lie to you, though: this is also the decade when your hormones start to truly shift. That may indicate a further decrease in testosterone, which impacts sexual arousal, for those who have a penis. Strength training is beneficial because it raises testosterone levels in the body, which improves erections, general blood flow, and sexual preparedness.

Menopause usually begins in the 50s for vulva women, which impacts their natural lubrication levels.This is the time to investigate hormone therapy, with an emphasis on estrogen, to repair healthy vaginal tissues and improve the comfort of sex. 

Consider using the Yes/No/Maybe List. You’re not giving as much as you used to! Take a deep breath! I hope my YNM list inspires you greatly. You will have more real f*cks than ever if you try it out.  I will leave this link below. 

60’s : Sexual Liberation

;The 60s are a time to celebrate the fact that many couples have more successful sexual relationships than they did when they were younger. You’re in a great place now that you have decades of self-knowledge and fewer distractions. You have more time than ever to concentrate on sexual depth.

Prioritize taking care of your relationships, your health, and your communication abilities. Remind yourself that it’s never too late to seek therapy, to heal old wounds within yourself or with a partner. You should retire in your 60s, baby! So wave goodbye to ageist sex stereotypes as you embark on a truly awesome new chapter in your life. Science shows that older adults are participating in it more and finding it more enjoyable. A wonderful moment to be alive. 

Give a new sex toy a try. Now is the time to pamper yourself. You deserve to have sex because you put in a lot of effort to get here.

Beyond the 70s: New Sexual Challenges

Do you recall the senior study I mentioned at the top? Take a look at this: 54% of sexually active adults 75–85 years old who participated in a US study said they had sex twice or three times a month. Furthermore, 23% said they had sex at least once a week! 

You can have a vibrant sexual life well into this decade and beyond. “Sex is the best it has ever been,” a couple in this article say, and I quote them. Consider what they have to say.

Try: edging. Increase the intensity to an orgasm and then decrease it.Continue until you run out of fireworks. 

That’s it, dear! You can never know too much about sex, no matter how old you are. The best part is that our dynamic bodies are eager to impart knowledge. 

And there you have it, dear readers! I hope this journey through the ages and stages of your sexual life has been as enlightening for you as it has been for me. Remember, understanding and embracing the changes in our intimate lives is a continual process—one that deserves patience, self-love, and open communication.

If you found value in today’s video, don’t forget to give it a thumbs up, share it with those who might benefit, and hit the subscribe button if you haven’t already. Your support means the world to me.

Now, before we part ways, I want to remind you that if you have personal questions or if you’re facing challenges on your sexual journey, I’m here for you. As Helen Birch, your friendly sex therapist and agony aunt, I offer free consultation calls to provide personalized guidance. You can also explore my online courses for more in-depth support.

Visit my website for more information on how to schedule your free consultation or enroll in one of the courses. Let’s continue this conversation beyond the blog, and remember, your journey is unique, beautiful, and entirely yours.

Thank you for being a part of this community. Until next time, take care of yourselves and each other. This is Helen Birch, signing off.

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