What is a porn addiction? How can I overcome porn addiction? What are the side effects of porn addiction? These and other related questions are thoughtfully answered here by expert Helen Birch.
What Is Porn Addiction, Exactly?
You could wonder if you have a porn addiction if you are unable to put down your device, even when you have work to do, dinner to make, the dog to walk, or a birthday to celebrate. And you could believe you do if this insatiable yearning is producing real issues in your life.
That’s all most people need to know. That is the response to the query. However, if you’re seeking for a clear definition of what porn addiction is, certain symptoms of porn addiction, or a number of hours that constitutes an addiction, these answers don’t really exist.
Pornography addiction—along with sex addiction—has no definitive criteria to guide to diagnosing it.
Furthermore, according to certain arguments put up by rational individuals, it could not even be an addiction at all. Unrestrained porn usage may be more of a compulsion than an addiction, according to several studies. (Compulsions typically aim to reduce anxiety, whereas addictions focus on reward and obtaining reward.)
Remember that watching porn, even frequently, doesn’t necessarily indicate that you have a problem (occasional sex life spice up, anyone?). According to YouGov survey Three-quarters of British men (76%) say they have ever watched porn, compared to around half of women (53%). Around a third of men (36%) say they watch pornography at least once a week, including 13% who watch porn every day or most days, while just 4% of women say they watch porn at least once a week
But, if you feel a loss of control or that it’s causing other issues in your life, there are many ways to get support and regain a sense of control.
Which is it—porn addiction or porn compulsion?
Which is worse—an addiction or a compulsion—in terms of excessive porn consumption? Compulsion is the term used to describe an extreme want to do something, whereas addiction combines compulsion with a loss of control. Both addiction and compulsion can be uncomfortable for the person experiencing them. Making this distinction is crucial.
We work with clients to help them identify the specific issue that may be causing their problematic relationship with porn to exist.
What Happens in the Brain While Watching Porn?
An emotional response in the brain is one of the most obvious signs of psychological addiction. EEG is a method for detecting brain activity that involves attaching electrodes to the scalp and monitoring the activity. From the surface measurements, it reveals the level of brain activity. When persons with addictions are shown representations of their addiction, such as cigarettes for smokers or video games for gamblers, we observe greater activity. However, EEG tests from a significant study by UCLA neuroscientists in 20152 revealed that persons who have trouble watching porn do not experience this typical surge in brain activity.
The exact opposite of what you’d anticipate happening in an addict’s brain while watching sexual images, according to the researchers, was observed when they observed decreased brain reactions while viewing the photos. The results imply that a person with a porn addiction does not continue to be aroused by the same videos and therefore seeks more extreme sexual acts to become sexually aroused.
It should be noted that porn addiction is not the same as sex addiction. Porn addiction, is likely part of a larger problem of sex addiction but so not cause sex additions however porn reliance does cause sexual dysfunction.
What Initially Leads to a Problematic Relationship with Porn?
In general, our culture lacks adequate resources for teaching healthy sex behaviour. Parents don’t discuss sex with their kids, therapists don’t discuss sex with their patients, and our schools don’t discuss sex with students. This lack of sex education and discussing means that people don’t know what is normal when it comes to sex, they start to look at porn to answers questions they have and educate themselves. It we had good sex education then people could watch porn and enjoy it for what it is entertainment —without feeling so ashamed and secretive because they know that it isn’t a realistic version of love and intimacy. This creates misinformation and misconceptions causing sexual dysfunctions in men and unrealistic sexual expectations for women.
There’s no doubt, however, that spending a substantial amount of time viewing pornography can potentially lead to serious and negative consequences.
Where to Draw the Line When It Comes to Porn: A Healthy and Not-So-Healthy Amount
If your porn use is to the point that you are neglecting vital duties like job, if you are having relationship troubles, or if you are having difficulty experiencing and appreciating intimacy in real life, sex therapists advise that you think about getting assistance.
When assessing whether your porn intake may be veering into unhealthy area, two of the four clinical associations with behavioural addiction may be relevant here:
Social issues. Because of the conduct, you’re missing important due dates or duties at work, home, or school.
Reduced control. Not only do you crave the activity, but your efforts to reduce or control it are ineffective.
WHEN TO ASK FOR HELP TO QUIT PORN
Combating Porn Addiction
Consult a specialist if:
In spite of any issues it has created or is now causing in your relationships, career, or personal life, and despite any attempts to manage it, you keep binge-watching enormous amounts of porn on repeat.
When you watch porn, time keeps slipping away.
Your thoughts are only on porn. EVERY SINGLE TIME. Even when you don’t want to think about it or aren’t viewing it.
You experience intense guilt, depression, or humiliation for watching porn, or you experience anxiety when you try to disguise it.
You believe that it prevents you from fully appreciating or satisfying your own sexual encounters.
Why is watching porn causing sexual dysfunctions?
As a sex therapist I am seeing more and more people suffering from sexual dysfunctions with porn consumption being a major contributing factor. They are losing their natural sensations around how it feels to be aroused without porn. You can read more about erectile dysfunction and porn reliance here.
This is because porn hacks the brain, causing a chemical reaction in the brain and they get erect, every time, because those chemicals are making the brain hyper aroused. Then when they try to masturbate or have a sexual encounter without porn they experience erectile dysfunction. This is because they are expecting their body to react in the same way as it does when watching porn, and expect their erections to be the same but your body does not respond in the same way naturally with a partner as it does when watching porn. Your brain then panics, and results in erection problems. You can read or watch more about porn sexual dysfunction here
How to build a healthier relationship with porn and masturbation
Watching porn is not a bad thing but your relationship with porn might be.
Porn is neither good nor bad. But you might be having a problem with it if you can’t stop watching it and it is having a negative effect on you or you are neglecting other areas of your life in favour of watching porn. You might also find that you are getting no pleasure from watching it or it is making you feel negative. A lot depends on how you feel about porn and what you a watching it for.Pre-existing sexual anxiety, watching porn when you already have sexual anxiety can reinforce the anxiety for example my penis should be big and hard all the time, sex should last for 30 minutes at least. Sexual shame you feel shame about watching porn and masturbation the more likely it is to affect your erection.
Masturbation to porn can make you rely heavily on what you see and hear to get aroused. Then when you have sex with a partner there are lots of different sensation that your body and brain are not used to such as smells.
Watching porn to self-soothing and stress release, distractions from life and unhappiness. Unresolved issues means that solo sex can be more comfortable for a man and less anxiety provoking that partner sex- situational performance anxiety. If sex make you anxious watching porn can increase your anxiety.
Hypnosis can identify the cause of your shame and alter it. Making you more comfortable.
Porn is a problem when:
Helen Birch Sex Therapist
You can’t stop watching it
You don’t get any pleasure from watching it but feel you can’t stop
Watching it makes you feel anxious and stress
You choose to watch porn over human contact
It starts to cause sexual dysfunctions
How to stop porn addiction with therapy
The good news is that it’s very feasible to modify your relationship with porn if you’re having trouble with it or want to. Studies have indicated that mindfulness and talking therapies can frequently be more successful than a pharmaceutical strategy if your goal is to minimise your porn usage. Strategies can help an individual find ways to be comfortable with their negative feelings around viewing porn, making it easier for them to actually enjoy lower consumption rates. (However, your doctor could advise medication if you do have a co-occurring mental health problem like depression or OCD.)
You can work on understanding why you are driven to porn in the first place by consulting with a sex therapist or sexual freedom practitioner.
Again, speaking within the parameters of permission, it’s possible that it’s motivated by an unfulfilled kink or fetish desire, and watching porn is beneficial since you can’t do it otherwise. Perhaps it simply doesn’t fit with how you want to view yourself. Your therapist will assist you in sorting through all of these issues and determining how to proceed.
Sexual Freedom Hypnotherapy and Therapeutic hypnosis focuses on treating five main issues surrounding porn addiction. To determine whether hypnosis is appropriate for you, think about whether you require assistance in these areas.
Humiliation and shame
It’s common to experience shame and humiliation over your porn addiction, especially if someone unintentionally finds you using it. Women are particularly affected by this because society restricts how freely they can express their sexuality. Even while all addiction carries a stigma, many people don’t even believe in porn addiction, which makes it more challenging to accept your disease.
You can learn to accept these unfavourable feelings by working with a hypnotherapist for a few sessions. You can get over your embarrassment and realise that your porn habit wasn’t your fault. If you don’t correlate your addiction with so many negative feelings, it will be simpler for you to overcome it.
Decline in intimacy
People who battle with porn addiction could perceive a decline in their partner’s level of intimacy. Sex with your significant other may appear less interesting when you’re seeking out increasingly intense content.
A hypnotherapist can assist you in determining your feelings for your partner while you are being guided by suggestion. They can assist you in resuming your relationship with them as it was before you started developing a porn addiction, or they can help you embark on new endeavours now that you are sober. Once you’ve finished this hypnosis therapy, you might find that your feelings for your spouse have grown more intense.
Sexualizing inanimate objects
Due to the fact that these devices are used to view images and play videos, persons who are addicted to porn may also associate TVs, phones, and other electronic devices with sex. A hypnotist can help you change your behaviour and accept these things as regular elements of your life by using the power of suggestion. You’ll be able to use your computer or phone normally without feeling the desire to watch porn if your hypnosis is successful.
Overcome unrealistic expectations about sex
All day long, “beautiful” bodies are shown to porn addicts for hours on end. Due to your sense that their bodies don’t meet your expectations, this may distort how you view potential mates’ bodies. It can alter your perception of your own body, possibly leading to eating problems or body dysmorphia. It also leads to unrealistic expectations about penis size, how a vulva should look, how long sex should last and how a women should respond during sex.
You can work with a hypnotherapist to help you see that all bodies are normal and debunk any myths and misconceptions around sex. They can help you get back on track for a fulfilling, loving relationship by exposing you to more positive images of both men and women.
Your perception of sex may have been altered by your addiction to porn. If you view extreme porn, you might need to learn how to once again enjoy more standard sex. This can be assisted by hypnosis.
Regaining Balance
Porn addicts frequently spend a lot of time watching movies or browsing photographs. You might discover that it’s challenging to be productive and fill this extra time after you’re on the path to beating your addiction.
While you are being hypnotised, a hypnotherapist can help you develop positive habits like performing your chores, finishing your homework, or exercising. You might discover that it’s simpler to reclaim your life after a few sessions.
Get In Touch If You Want To Stop Your Porn Addiction
Many porn addicts are too humiliated or embarrassed to seek help, and some are simply unaware that they have a problem. Regardless of where you are in your fight or recovery, understanding where to go for support and assistance with your porn addiction is a crucial first step in taking back control of your life. Depending on your needs, degree of comfort, and availability, there are a tonne of resources available both offline and online. Helen Birch Hypnotherapy offers sex therapy, hypnosis and counselling in Wakefield, West Yorkshire. Click here to get in touch and stop porn addiction.