Top 7 Questions I Get Asked About Sex and Intimacy

As a seasoned sex therapist, sexual freedom practitioner, and hypnotherapist, I’ve had the privilege of helping countless individuals and couples navigate the complexities of their sexual and intimate lives. Over the years, my work has led to features in various newspapers and articles, and I also serve as an agony aunt for a well-known magazine. Today, I’m addressing the top seven questions I frequently encounter in my practice to provide insights and guidance to those seeking help in the realm of sexuality and relationships.

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Question 1: Am I Normal?

This question is perhaps one of the most common concerns I come across. People often wonder if their desires, fantasies, or experiences are “normal.” First and foremost, it’s essential to understand that there’s no universal definition of “normal” when it comes to sexuality. What’s most important is that you feel comfortable, safe, and consensual in your experiences. If something feels distressing or is causing problems in your life, it’s worth discussing with a therapist who can provide guidance tailored to your specific situation.

Question 2: I Can’t Orgasm. Is There Something Wrong With Me?

The inability to reach orgasm is a concern shared by many individuals. It’s crucial to remember that the ability to orgasm can be influenced by various factors, including stress, physical health, and relationship dynamics. If you’re struggling with orgasm, it’s recommended to explore self-pleasure and become familiar with your body’s responses. Additionally, consider discussing this with a therapist or medical professional who can offer tailored advice and potential solutions. Click here to read more.

Question 3: Why Can’t I Orgasm with My Partner?

Difficulty orgasming with a partner is a common issue, and it often ties into communication and comfort levels within the relationship. It’s vital to remember that sexual intimacy is about connection, not just climax. Open and honest communication with your partner can help build trust and reduce anxiety, potentially leading to more fulfilling sexual experiences. Exploring fantasies and desires together can also deepen your connection. You can find out more about anorgasmia here.

Question 4: How Can I Reignite My Sex Life?

Over time, many couples may experience a dip in their sexual desire or excitement. To reignite your sex life, start by openly discussing your desires and fantasies with your partner. Experimentation, trying new things, and setting aside quality time for intimacy can help rekindle the spark. Remember that it’s natural for relationships to experience ups and downs, but putting in effort and creativity can make a significant difference. You can find out more about how to reignite the spark here.

Question 5: Why Am I Having Performance Anxiety and Losing My Erection?

Performance anxiety and erectile difficulties are more common than you might think. Stress, relationship issues, or even physical health concerns can contribute to these problems. To address performance anxiety, focus on relaxation techniques, open communication with your partner, and possibly seeking professional guidance. It’s essential to understand that occasional difficulties are normal, and they don’t define your worth or masculinity. You can read more about erectile dysfunction here.

Question 6: How Can I Improve My Libido?

A decreased libido can be attributed to various factors, including stress, hormonal changes, and relationship dynamics. Start by addressing potential stressors in your life and practicing self-care. Communicate openly with your partner about your desires and explore new ways to connect emotionally and physically. If the issue persists, consider consulting with a healthcare professional to rule out underlying medical causes. Click here to read more about increasing your libido.

Question 7: How Do I Talk to My Partner About Sex?

Effective communication about sex is key to a healthy and fulfilling sexual relationship. Begin by choosing the right time and setting for the conversation. Use “I” statements to express your desires and concerns, focusing on your feelings rather than blaming or accusing your partner. Encourage your partner to share their thoughts and feelings as well. Remember, this is a two-way conversation that can lead to increased intimacy and understanding. Find out how to work on your communication here.


Navigating the intricacies of our sexual and intimate lives can be challenging, but seeking guidance and support from a qualified sex therapist can provide valuable insights and solutions. Remember that there is no one-size-fits-all approach to sexuality, and what matters most is your comfort, safety, and satisfaction in your relationships and experiences. Don’t hesitate to reach out for help and remember that you’re not alone in your journey toward a more fulfilling and satisfying sex life. You can reach out for help here.

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