Arousal, eroticism, sensuality, and desire all come together magnificently to produce sexual pleasure. It is the gratification, delight, and physical and/or psychological fulfillment that come from private or public sensual encounters. The five senses, memories/past experiences, dreams, autoeroticism, and thoughts are all included in these experiences. Intoxicating stuff, sexual pleasure is an experience of the mind and body. We open ourselves up to a wide range of sensually thrilling experiences when we allow ourselves to enjoy and have sexual pleasure.
Sexual pleasure needs to connect the body and mind.
We employ an overwhelming amount of terms to characterize our mental and physical responses to sexual arousal: excitement, attraction, libido, drive, horniness, wetness, being turned on, being in the mood, desiring, desire, lust, and sensuality. We frequently use these terms interchangeably and without giving them much attention, but they have different meanings, and knowing the differences is crucial if you want to improve your understanding of your sexual enjoyment and what drives you. Confusing terminology can result in unintended conflicting messages, a breakdown in our ability to communicate with one another and ourselves, and negative feelings toward our sexual enjoyment and ourselves.
What is sexual arousal ?
Other terms for sexual arousal include “being turned on” or sexual enthusiasm. It refers to the physiological alterations that take place when your body receives signals from the brain indicating that it is time for pleasure and sexual activity. An engorged vulva or clitoris, erect nipples, and vaginal lubrication are possible side effects. Your heart rate may increase, you may have flushing in your cheeks and/or upper chest, and you may tremble or shiver. You could sigh or make various sounds. Although it’s common to hear the term “turned on,” being sexually stimulated isn’t like flipping a switch in your body.
The process of arousal is gradual!
The way the media, particularly pornography, portrays the process of arousal, everyone would think that women can go from having nothing at all to having violent orgasms in a matter of minutes. However, this is fiction and has little in do with actual sexual desire, just like any movie. The seeds of arousal can be sowed long before any sexual action occurs because it is a progressive process. Every event can take a varied amount of time based on a number of factors, including your age, where you are in your monthly cycle, whether you are alone or with someone else, the conditions, your surroundings, your life’s events, how your day is going, and any medications you may be taking.
Involuntary sexual arousal occurs when something triggers a sexual arousal, sometimes even through non-sexual stimuli. It might come suddenly, seemingly without cause, or as a result of something you were thinking about or witnessed. Interestingly, it can also work the other way. You can be masturbating or engaging in sexual activity fully, cheerfully, and voluntarily, but your body appears to be asleep—it isn’t responding—even while you are clearly aroused. It’s actually quite typical. It is common and can be very irritating, but if you are patient and allow yourself to feel, your body will ultimately awaken and the episode will typically pass.
Intimate and Sexual Wants
One’s motivational force or state is sexual desire. It encourages interest in sexual activities, pleasure from sex, and sexual objects. either internal or external triggers, such as ideas and fantasies that make one want to have sex, can cause this wish or desire. Many terms are used to describe sexual desire, such as “libido,” “horniness,” or “sex drive.” Our levels of desire are highly variable and influenced by a wide range of variables, including hormone levels, work-related stress, and everything in between.
There are two types of sexual desire: responsive and spontaneous.
We can experience responsive or spontaneous sexual desire. The majority of people I work with anticipate that their desire will be impulsive and that, even in the absence of sexual stimuli, they will suddenly feel the need for sex. This craving will intensify over time if there hasn’t been any sexual release. Rather than being a reaction to something or someone, spontaneous desire is a state of being. We are more likely to experience responsive sexual desire, even though we anticipate that our desire will or should be spontaneous.
When the urge to have sex is sparked by any type of mental or physical stimulation, it is referred to as responsive desire. Even though they may not feel like it, a person may find that they are reacting to touch, thought, or even a memory.
Libido is vitality
The best way to conceptualize desire and libido, in my opinion, is as a “lifeforce” that is multifaceted, influenced by a variety of factors, and encompasses all forms of pleasure, not just sexual pleasure. This lifeforce is what propels us forward and encourages us to make the most of every sense in life. Every day, our libido, or lifeforce, is constantly changing; certain things fuel it and others drain it. Libido is influenced by our hopes, fears, beliefs, energy levels, and past and present experiences. Individuals who have experienced libido loss are rarely content. We become disinterested and unmotivated in many aspects of our lives when we lose our lifeforce. You can read more about low libido here.
Individuals who lack libido frequently experience high anxiety, low confidence, and low self-esteem. Our vitality, overall happiness, and desire for life are all dependent upon our lifeforce and everything it entails. It is also necessary for us to be able to enjoy sexual pleasure. It takes work to discover and hold onto our lifeforce; we must live sensually and fully and we must never give up. It is just as vital to our overall health as a balanced diet and regular exercise. In order to replenish your lifeforce, you must never stop acting. If not, it will disappear.
A crucial component of our sexual pleasure is eroticism. It is the sensual and sexual world that exists inside each of us. Our desires, inclinations, fantasies, and ideas fuel our erotica. Our eroticism serves to satiate our cravings, needs, and need for human connection. Beyond the yearning for the actual physical act of sex, eroticism is far more expansive and nuanced. It’s not just something you do; it’s a place you go inside yourself, with someone else, or with yourself. Our life force is fundamentally erotically charged. Finding, comprehending, and owning your sexual pleasure depend on you accepting your eroticism.
Being sensual means being aware of your senses, being in the moment, and being conscious of how you perceive, feel, and take in your surroundings. In addition to our five senses—taste, touch, sight, sound, and smell—we also have “conceptual thought,” or the ability to think. Humans, especially female humans, are perceptive creatures. In order to fully embrace our sexual pleasure, we must be attuned to and connected to all of our senses. Sensuality is not always synonymous with sex or sexuality. Being sensual is both an attitude and a way of being. The world becomes more vibrant and we are able to live a more vibrant and sensual life if we navigate life with an awareness of our sensuality.
If you want to reclaim your own sexual pleasure then please get in touch with Helen Birch, Hypnotherapist, Sexual Freedom Practitioner and Agony Aunt.